"Please help! My mum is forcing marriage on my neck"
N388/N390 (updated 28.4.17:close)
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January 6, 2017

"Please help! My mum is forcing marriage on my neck"

From a female blog reader:

I am 22 and I finished service in November, I got a job in Lagos 6 months into my service year so I moved to Lagos to stay with my sister and her husband. They live in a self con apartment but they are okay as they are just starting their lives together. My plan was to work for a while and get a flat with someone and split the bills and my parents where in support of this arrangement but now the story is different. I have a cousin who is a year and some months older than me and recently got engaged, after so much struggle with her parents, they finally accepted the guy bcoz he is not the same tribe as ours, right now I can’t talk to my mum without her saying I should find a man and marry and I should not let my cousin leave me behind(like I am competing with her). I recently had a bad break up with my ex and i intend to give myself time bcoz we dated for 5 years and I want a better life for myself and I want to go back to school and further my education. Please advice me on possible ways to make my mum see reasons why she should not push me, it is even much harder when she insists I have to marry someone from my tribe alone and honestly since I got to Lag, I haven’t seen any guy who is the same tribe as myself.
Secondly, my sister went home for some health issues and I stay alone with her husband, I am scared, he won’t let me go to the movies or go out and now I can’t get my own place coz my mum says it will portray me as an irresponsible girl, so I have no other option, please I don’t know what to do. I need cool female friends I can talk and hang out with.
Please advice me on what to do.


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