“Please help! My boyfriend lacks motivation”
N388/N390 (updated 28.4.17:noon)
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August 8, 2016

“Please help! My boyfriend lacks motivation”

From a female blog reader:

My problem is my bf of a year and a half is not motivated or driven. Im the exact opposite. He gives up on things and opportunities too easily using flimsy excuses and won’t keep to his words. Im not a materialistic person and he knows this but I want a husband that will be financially responsible. In the almost 2 years we dated, he has only given me total of 30k naira which is almost nothing when you live abroad. He always promises to send something and never does.

Recently i had a crisis and needed his help and he wasnt able to, he said he tried his best meanwhile I know the extent I go even as far as borrowing to help him and others when they have problems. He doesnt have a 9-5 and sings only on weekends in shows. I have tried telling him to get a job and do this on weekends to no avail. He says he wants to pursue his singing career and points out popular musicians to which i tell him they dont depend just on music until they are very known in the industry.

He has other good qualities like being loving and caring, my problem is I don’t want to jeopardise my future and end up suffering or being the breadwinner. He is almost 36 & has nothing tangible to show. I don’t date for money and I believe you can start and grow with a guy but in this case I have no motivation and I don’t see enough hard work to make me believe in his potential. Now he is insisting on marriage and wants me to move back and be with him at the expense of my job. My parents have done their best for me and I want to make them proud. Do you think I should be more patient with him or I should walk away?

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