I have been contemplating on what to do for a while, I have been with my boyfriend for four years, he has a child and a lazy baby mama that is not efficient hence relying on him for even transport fare, house rent and so much more. He has invested in her in ways he has not in me because he says I am very productive and independent. The child is with him (he had the child before I came to the picture) I was aware and felt I would be okay with it. He cares for me, but can be rigid and unromantic, when I tell him about how I feel he would ignore me, to summarise it all he has cheated on me and I in a quest of finding that peaceful soulmate I did same, now he wants us to get married but first get engaged in three weeks time, I have refused to tell my father because I am scared, I want to marry him but I feel I would never be happy and satisfied in the marriage.
Received three revelations from three different pastors by default (without telling them nothing because I barely believe in words like that) that if I marry him I would regret it now, I don't know how to tell him it is over because we have been together for a while been without him seem impossible and unbearable I told him let's see a shrink he said no.
There were times I felt he had another option and I was right he really had and his mother was aware when I confronted him he said there was nothing between them, please am I mad or dumb to know that you must have a thing with her to consider her an option for marriage because he sent our names to his mother.. My mother is a huge fan of his whenever I gather the courage to say it is over we would be back by default, he does things without consulting me and I feel at this stage if we can't do things together we can't be together.
Please help me I feel like I am about to make a huge mistake plus I know no relationship is perfect but we quarrel almost every time and he gets insecure accusing me, if I go out which I rarely do he would get upset and go out too especially when I don't pick his call which is not intentional. I decided not to listen to people that tell me to look for option B because he brought a lady home
Monday, 6 February 2017