N448/N450 (updated 20.3.17:noon)
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Wednesday, 14 December 2016

From a female blog reader:
How do you overcome bitterness, i mean deep rooted hate that keeps rearing its ugly head in your Relationship no matter how much you guys are going great together... When my boyfriend was still in Nigeria, while i was busy securing papers for us to travel, he was making plans for just himself and he left me here alone, apart from this, he has proven to be unreliable so many times, leaving me at a time when i had no one else but him, he broke my very essence, if i say the things he did, my pain might make me to be exaggerative and you may not be objective in your comments. i sincerely wonder why he cant copy my selflessness
He has dated other people while he was away but he says he loves me (I know this part sounds silly) but I don't know how to explain it, in my head, i felt that been a long distance relationship, he did it to keep body and soul together. While i was here, lonely, sad, begging to know what i did wrong, he was busy frolicking with another woman.
Now things seem to be going great, we've been together 4 years and i fear settling down with him, i hate him secretly. sometimes when I talk to him, I get happy but it diminishes quickly
I hate him for everything he put me through even when I didn't deserve it... I resent him and i love him (its that complicated)... There must be someone out here in the midst of everyone who would have been in my shoes.... I want to be happy, i want to be normal. I tried to see other people but I'm too damaged to see beyond my pain... I just resent the thought of dating anyone else.... This hate is swallowing me up, i was such a happy, independent, go-getter...Now I'm a shadow of my self.
Save me please, I'm drowning....
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