I am in my mid 20's, I was living as a princess in a castle, attended one of the best secondary schools in Nigeria, until my parents starting having financial issues which resulted to me dropping out of uni for a while. I prostituted myself to be able to pay my university tuition fees as I didn't have anyone to help me, no good family relatives and all who liked me only wanted sex.
I have gone through so much to get my degree, it's what I have always wanted. Right now I am diagnosed with Hiv and I am addicted to smoking weed.
I have tried to stop but I can't help but smoke, I have Googled and read how it can affect my health as an Hiv patient but still I find my self just smoking weed.
Sometimes I smoke 4/5 sticks a day.
Smoking weed never affected me academically cos I am a first class student and I could train myself to not smoke during exams. But now i am scared cos ever since I found out about my medical condition it seems I have been smoking more to stop feeling depressed, I am in my final year and my goal right now is to maintain my 1st class result and become a better person in the future. I really need to get closer to God and quit smoking but I need help. I no longer prostitute myself for money cos I have realised that it doesn't exactly come with good things.
I do regret my past actions but all I want now is for readers to pls advice me, I can't go to a rehabilitation centre cos school is in session and I don't want to wait as I fear it might get worse than this.
I am struggling between cutting down to 1 a day and eventually stop or cold turkey which is more difficult and I honestly don't see myself handling it.
Pls kindly help me. God bless you all.
Monday, 10 October 2016