I'm 23.I've been in a 6years relationship .Hes 31.He was my first everything. I loved my bf so much that I didn't cheat on him or even thought about it for once till...Fast forward to Dec 2015, I met a younger guy and one thing led to the other, we had sex and I felt no atom of guilt and that made me realize that I'm out of love with my bf. No feelings anymore.
I get irritated when he calls or messages me,even when he talks.i don't even allow him touch me anymore talk more of having sex. I always avoid seeing him. When we see,I'm always quiet cos I don't have anything to say.
I'm still in the relationship out of pity cos we've been together for so long and bcos I don't want to hurt him. Although he has noticed and he's been asking questions. We are even on break as suggested by him cos he said 'he dosnt understand me anymore'. I've been trying to think of sweet memories but instead Ive been finding faults and all his flaws and I've come to realize that the relationship has always been shit but I didn't realize cos I was in love. I took a lot of shit and was always ready to cover up for him just to make him look like the perfect bf. I went as far as buying myself gifts,planning weekend getaways,lying to myself ,family and my friends just to form that I had a perfect relationship for 6years. A whole lot of things I regret so much that I'm still asking myself, why and how.
I'm ready to break up with him cos I'm tired and I can't keep dating out of pity. I'm not happy and my happiness is what matters most. I don't know how to tell him that I'm not interested anymore without hurting him.how do I go about it? Cos I don't want to waste my time and his time also ,believing that there's a future when there's no present anymore.
Monday, 12 September 2016